Let me put my cards on the table. I do want to believe. I would like to follow Jesus.
Why?
In order have a purpose in my life? Possibly.
Because I have no other options in my life? No longer the truth- hence, possibly, the reason I've been more off the rails than ever before.
Because I want to be moral? Well, there are other, more self-righteous and self-glorifying ways...
The true reason is that I would like to follow Jesus because I know that otherwise I'm on a handcart to hell...
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